Do you ever reminisce on old memories? Do you ever miss the way things used to be? Do you ever smile when you think of what we had? Do you ever tear up when you realize what we lost? Do you ever blame yourself for what happened between us? Do you ever wish that you could go back in time to change how things went down? Do you ever hope that we’ll be okay again? Do you ever wonder if I ever wonder about you?
Physically. I want to be able to let go of all these emotions I have bottled up inside, and cry shamelessly to someone. I want to be held firmly in their arms, and be reassured that everything will turn out alright. A lot of my ‘friends’ tell me that they’re there for me, but I find that when I’m hurting, none of them really are. The few people that I’m really close to, and trust enough to confide in, all live so far away. By the time I get to them, my tears would probably be gone. I’m glad that I can at least vent to them on Skype or something, but just once, I wish I could cry to someone face-to-face. It just feels more real that way, you know? There can’t really be any hidden emotions, whereas you can hide so much over the computer. But I don’t even know if I could cry my heart out to someone in real life.. I would just feel so weak, and as if I’m wasting their time.
I’m beautiful. Inside and out. And so are you. We’re all worth something to someone, and if you think you aren’t.. You’re worth something to God. He put you on here on earth because He loves you and has a purpose for you. Life can be hard, and to be honest, sometimes it doesn’t get easier. But, you get stronger. Think of every challenge you face as, well, a challenge. A challenge that you’re going to beat. And at the end of that challenge, you’re going to be rewarded. God has a reason for everything that He puts you through, and He will never put you through something that you can’t handle. I know it’s hard to think that everything’s going to be okay when you’re struggling through something, but trust me, pain never lasts. In some time, you probably won’t be upset over the same thing. You’ll probably be laughing that you were even upset about it. I don’t know who you are, but I know that God made you beautiful. You might be a diamond in the rough, but you’re still a diamond, so don’t let the world and its temporary problems take away your shine. I promise you that everything will be okay, that everything is okay. What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.
Emotionally. I don’t wanna feel anything anymore. I don’t even know what these feelings I have are, but I’m just so sick of feeling things. I care too much about stupid things, and I’m starting to care less about what actually matters. It feels as if I’m missing something in my life. All these unknown emotions are so bottled up inside of me, and I just need to pour them out. Mentally. I don’t wanna think about anything anymore. My thoughts are always consuming me for the worse. My thoughts scare me. I hate the way I think excessively about everything, even the useless stuff. My mind makes everything so much scarier than it actually is. Sometimes, my brain just shuts down, and sometimes, it just doesn’t wanna function, like when I’m doing schoolwork. I need to activate my brain with good thoughts and a determined mindset. Physically. I don’t wanna do anything anymore. I’m so lazy, whether it’s in labour or in sports. I’ve been feeling so unhealthy lately, and sometimes my legs hurt to the point where I can barely walk. I don’t wanna go anywhere with anyone anymore, all I want to do is lay in my bed. I need to go out more often, and get some exercise. Spiritually. This one is different, and I want to do something about it. I feel as if my relationship with God is fading away. So much has been happening to me lately, and I haven’t been spending enough time with Him. I need some spiritual inspiration, and I need to start remembering how blessed I am, even through these tough trials that I’m facing. I don’t want to be tired of religion, I want to want it. I want to rediscover my faith because I know that with God, I won’t have to be tired anymore, “for I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” - Philippians 4:13
I hate having those moments when you have so much to say. So much bottled inside. So much thoughts in your head. But you don’t know how to write it all down. You don’t even know where to start. You don’t even know how to express yourself. So you just keep all those thoughts and feelings inside. All bottled up.
I honestly don’t even care anymore. I don’t need any of your ‘I love you’ or ‘you’re beautiful’ kind of bull. I used to think that I could be special to you, but it turns out you talk to every girl the way you talk to me. Even if you do give me some extra attention, I know I’m not the only girl you think about at the end of the day. You must be an idiot if you think I don’t see right through you. It’s going to take a lot more than your looks and sweet talk to catch me, so don’t go disrespecting me with your game because I’m a real girl, not one of your Barbie dolls.
