I was honestly so excited for a fresh start at my new school today, but so much for that. I wish that nobody I once knew recognized my face or remembered my name. I wish that everybody would just forget who I once was and let me start over, because to have known me would mean that there’s a new me. And this new me wants an actual fresh start.
Picture Blog →
I haven’t really posted much of anything in a while. I don’t feel like a lot has happened these past few weeks, but at the same time, I feel like so much has happened. So much that it overwhelms what words could possibly say. I’m trapped in a world with myself and a bunch of dark, unseen emotions; I wish I had someone who I could just pour it all out to.
I was seeking revenge,
but then I put my anger aside and realized that hurting you back is just not worth it. I refuse to play this immature, little game of yours because I’ve been raised with a higher morality than that. Matthew 5:44 tells us to love those who hate us and bless those who persecute us; Matthew 7:6 tells us not to waste our holiness on something unholy such as vengeance; and Romans 12:19 tells us...
Goodbye 2011, Welcome 2012.
deartraacy: I can’t believe 2011 is coming to the end. Well, what can i say. Every year has it’s pros and cons. But this year really wasn’tas bad as it sounds or seems. If i were to rate this year from 1-10, id say, 7. I got close to a lot of people this year and truthfully, I’m thankful for having whoever I gotten close with this year. You guys made this year completely different and a...
2012 will be my year.
I’m making it about me. You know why? Because in the end, I’m the only person guaranteed to be there for myself. I’m going to do what makes me happy this year. I’ll do crazy things. I’ll get my heart broken. I’ll waste my money on nonsense. I’ll do whatever will make me smile, and I’m not going to regret any of it. No matter what people have to say,...
The scariest thing about distance is that you...
victoriaaloi: No matter how many times you leave me, no matter how many times I tell myself to let go, I always end up finding myself crawling back to you. What have you turned me into? Why does it hurt so much when you leave? Why can’t I get you out of my head? What exactly am I to you? Please, if you’re just playing around, let me be.
phaaaaan: I seriously hate how badly you ruined me for others. I can’t be anybody else but you, I hate the thought of being with anybody. I hate the thought of a future with anybody else but you and it sucks because it shows how much you grown on me. I can’t imagine taking vacations and living in a cute ass apartment with anybody but you. I hate how I love the same stuff that you love. I hate...
Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back...– Taylor Swift
I generally don't like reblogging stuff.
But sometimes, even though the thoughts in my head flow nicely and I know what I want to say, I just can’t write about my feelings. There’s a lot of people on my dashboard who can practically relate to me better than I can relate to myself, and I’m honestly so jealous of those people. If you can easily express yourself through words, then consider yourself lucky. I’d die...
"Once they have you, they stop trying."
mbaaaby: All of us have heard of this, and pretty much agree w/ it also. If you don’t agree, you’re most likely still in that flirting phase of the relationship where the other person is still doing things to catch your attention, to make you laugh, to entertain you, etc. But trust me, once you’re past the comfortable phase and its been a loooooong time in the relationship, one of you is going...
Happy Birthday Jesus.
jfmp: Thank You so much for loving me when I felt like nobody else did. Thank You for carrying my cross when it was so much to bear. Thank You for listening to me in the middle of the night when I questioned about my life, my future, my doubts, and my constant fears. Most importantly, thank You for seeing something special in someone as unworthy as me. Merry Christmas.
I'm slowly dying inside.
I don’t really feel upset or anything, nor do I have a reason to be, but there’s this feeling inside of me that something’s not right. Something’s missing. Lately, all I’ve been wanting to do is stay in my room and sleep. I’m just so tired of the world, and I want to get away from everyone and everything. I used to hate being alone, but now I like it. For some...
“When opposing [sides] use third parties as substitutes for fighting each other directly.” Seems familiar, no? This is the exact kind of war we’re fighting. Instead of taking the time to confront our problems, we just pretend as if we don’t care about each other anymore. The tension between us is so obvious, as well as the way we compete with each other, usually through our...
I’m sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I’m sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad. I’m sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I’m sorry if I come off as annoying. I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I’m sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I’m sorry if I say things I don’t...
There's nothing wrong with making new friends,
but if your reason to become friends with a certain someone is to take them away from someone you dislike, then you’re not really trying to become friends with them. You’re just trying to hurt the person you dislike, and make them envy you. Ironic, because you’re envying their relationship with whoever this certain someone you’re trying to befriend is. Some people just have...
When you’re happy, we’re on good terms. When you’re upset, we’re on bad terms. When I’m upset, I have to pretend that we’re on good terms. You tend to put me in a bad mood whenever you’re in a bad mood. Sometimes I’m having a good day, then I talk to you. You let your smallest problems control both you and our relationship. You pretty much give up...
I just realized that I could reblog long text posts as text posts, not links.. Ha.
linhtvo: Hi baby, I can’t sleep.. but I don’t want to wake you up, nor study. My mind is too distraught to have the ability to function properly right now. It’s so hard to study. I just want to be in your arms crying and having you tell me that things are going to be okay.. I don’t like being stuck in this same old predicament. I want to be able to look pass the past and be fully happy with you...
If you never message me first,
don’t complain that I don’t talk to you anymore. I’m pretty sure that a conversation goes two ways. If you want me to talk to you, then maybe you should talk to me first now and then. I’m not scared to hit you up first, it’s just that I always do. And after some time, I start to feel like I’m annoying you. Plus, there are a lot of times where I have to try to keep the conversation alive for you....
Do you still think of me like I think about you?
Do you ever reminisce on old memories? Do you ever miss the way things used to be? Do you ever smile when you think of what we had? Do you ever tear up when you realize what we lost? Do you ever blame yourself for what happened between us? Do you ever wish that you could go back in time to change how things went down? Do you ever hope that we’ll be okay again? Do you ever wonder if I ever...
I wish I had a shoulder to cry on.
Physically. I want to be able to let go of all these emotions I have bottled up inside, and cry shamelessly to someone. I want to be held firmly in their arms, and be reassured that everything will turn out alright. A lot of my ‘friends’ tell me that they’re there for me, but I find that when I’m hurting, none of them really are. The few people that I’m really close...
Diamond in the Rough
I’m beautiful. Inside and out. And so are you. We’re all worth something to someone, and if you think you aren’t.. You’re worth something to God. He put you on here on earth because He loves you and has a purpose for you. Life can be hard, and to be honest, sometimes it doesn’t get easier. But, you get stronger. Think of every challenge you face as, well, a challenge....
I've been so tired lately.
Emotionally. I don’t wanna feel anything anymore. I don’t even know what these feelings I have are, but I’m just so sick of feeling things. I care too much about stupid things, and I’m starting to care less about what actually matters. It feels as if I’m missing something in my life. All these unknown emotions are so bottled up inside of me, and I just need to pour...
gardervotrecoeur: I hate having those moments when you have so much to say. So much bottled inside. So much thoughts in your head. But you don’t know how to write it all down. You don’t even know where to start. You don’t even know how to express yourself. So you just keep all those thoughts and feelings inside. All bottled up.
Just do you, playa.
I honestly don’t even care anymore. I don’t need any of your ‘I love you’ or ‘you’re beautiful’ kind of bull. I used to think that I could be special to you, but it turns out you talk to every girl the way you talk to me. Even if you do give me some extra attention, I know I’m not the only girl you think about at the end of the day. You must be an...
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.– Psalm 147:3
I thought I found myself when I found you.
But as it turns out, I just lost myself even more. And I hate it. Maybe I wasn’t the happiest girl before I met you, but I was content. I’m not trying to boost myself up, but before I met you, I had a lot going for me. I was focused on all the right things; God, family, and education. I didn’t really care about boys and relationships. I was fine with being single, I was...
I don’t love no material things, but I’m in love with the feelings they bring.
Mom: You shouldn't have told him you loved him.
Me: But, I did love him...
Mom: Yeah, but you loved him too much. You never let a guy know you love him more than anything. Because then they won't care if they hurt you, because they know you love him. They know you're not gonna do anything about it. Once they know they have control over you, they start using it against you and take you for granted. He won't care what he does to you, because he knows you care enough to stay with him no matter what he puts you through.
Me: But, what if you love someone enough that you WOULD do anything for him?
Mom: You need to stop that. I taught you to be stronger than this. You don't NEED any guy. Where's your independence? You let people take advantage of you so much, what's wrong with you? You need to be bigger than that. The next guy, don't let him hurt you. If he pushes you over, you push him out on the street. My daughter doesn't deserve that.
I can't wait 'til the day that I finally get to...
jfmp: “Mom, Dad, you don’t have to work anymore. Relax. I can support you now. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.”
"I've seen you around with him a lot last year."
Whenever I meet someone new at school, that’s what they tell me. And it always gets stuck in the back of my head. I mean, I’m over you. I’ve been over you for months now. But sometimes, I still think about us. How we used to be. We never had a real relationship, and I’m not even sure if we had a ‘thing’ or not. But, whatever it was that we had, I miss. You and I...
With every year that passes,
I’ve noticed that my circle of friends has gotten smaller. And, to be honest with you, I don’t really have a circle of friends anymore. Most people are just my acquaintances nowadays, I probably only have two actual friends. But, I don’t mind that. When I was younger, I thought that the number of people on your Facebook friends list mattered, and that the number of conversations...
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and...– The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I never used to wish on 11:11.
I still think it’s an incredibly stupid thing to do, but nowadays, I can’t help it. If I look at the time and that’s what it is, I wish. I know that God has a plan for me, and I know that everything happens for a reason, but I still feel like I need all the help I can get. I pray to God everyday and I believe that He’ll give me what I need in the end, but I don’t want to wait...
I don’t like my oldest brother’s girlfriend. That’s something I won’t deny. I’m pretty sure my entire family knows I don’t like her, including the brother who’s dating her. I don’t mean to be rude, but she is probably the only person that I could ever strongly dislike. I forgive her for talking behind my back, for yelling at me, and for everything...
I can never hold a grudge against someone.
I’m a forgiving person and at times, I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. I mean, it’s good because God wants us to forgive others, just like He forgave us. But sometimes, I feel like people take advantage of my forgiving nature. I feel like they think they can do whatever they want to me, because although I’ll confront them and whatnot, I’ll always forgive...
Untitled.: If you’re going to “woo” a girl, give... →
jfmp: If you’re going to “woo” a girl, give her compliments and give her cute gifts and sing to her every night on the phone and send her random texts, she’s obviously going to fall for you. For the things you do. But if you win her heart and she says yes, that doesn’t mean you should stop. Just…
When things are going well with you, I feel on top of the world. There’s no way to explain how perfect my life seems when things are good between us. When you’re happy, I feel happy myself. But when you’re not here or when you’re upset, I feel empty inside. It’s like I can’t be content without you, no matter how well other things are going in my life. I kind of...
jfmp: I have that “everything’s my fault” mentality. Like no matter what happens, I always end up blaming myself. And it sucks, because I’m the type of person that can’t accept mistakes. I’m so hard on myself and I really can’t just brush it off, you know? It’s always there. Always. Everyday I’m reminded about what kind of person I am, and I hate it.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? 2 When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3 Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. 4 The one thing I ask of the...
.: Romans 8:28 →
103147591: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” God works in miraculous ways. He works in everything for our good. For His purpose. Keep in mind that God is always with you and that faith & trust in…
I let go of everything but you, you didn't let go...
How did you let go so easily? How could you tell me that you’re forever in love with me, then wake up the next morning and just walk out the door? Honestly, I was always the one who cared more about us and who made the bigger effort for us to work out. I always thought that if we just happened to break up, I would be the one leaving you, because I was always the one giving everything and...
If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the...– 1 John 1:8-9
Lord, help me to set aside time each day to meet...
As I come before You, teach me to pray the way You want me to. Help me learn more about You. Lord, You have said, If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink (John 7:27). I thirst for more of You because I am in a dry place without You. I come to You this day and drink deeply of Your Spirit. I know You are everywhere, but I also know there are deeper manifestations of Your presence that I long...
If you want to be with me, you need to understand that I’m staying abstinent from sex. Don’t flirt with me if all you want is a ‘good time.’ In my vocabulary, having a ‘good time’ literally means having a good time. And no, we’re not going to have a good time by drinking or smoking either. We can have a good time by holding down conversations and just by...
What I'm giving up until the end of 2011:
Facebook Money (20%) Nail polish Secular music I might be able to last longer than that, but this is what I’m giving up for good: Bad attitude/temper Fake relationships Profanities Taking what isn’t mine And most importantly: My time life for Him
Treat him just as good as he treats you.
jaypascua: Just because you’re a girl don’t be a selfish bitch and think that you need to be given all the attention in the relationship. You both have to put the same amount of effort. Who ever said guys have to do all the work in the relationship anyway? If he surprises you once in awhile , You should surprise him too. Make sure he knows all that effort he has given was worth it .