I was honestly so excited for a fresh start at my new school today, but so much for that. I wish that nobody I once knew recognized my face or remembered my name. I wish that everybody would just forget who I once was and let me start over, because to have known me would mean that there’s a new me. And this new me wants an actual fresh start.

I haven’t really posted much of anything in a while. I don’t feel like a lot has happened these past few weeks, but at the same time, I feel like so much has happened. So much that it overwhelms what words could possibly say. I’m trapped in a world with myself and a bunch of dark, unseen emotions; I wish I had someone who I could just pour it all out to.

but then I put my anger aside and realized that hurting you back is just not worth it. I refuse to play this immature, little game of yours because I’ve been raised with a higher morality than that. Matthew 5:44 tells us to love those who hate us and bless those who persecute us; Matthew 7:6 tells us not to waste our holiness on something unholy such as vengeance; and Romans 12:19 tells us that God will bring justice and revenge for us. So go ahead, talk bad about me and hope the worst for my future. I could “set you straight” by hurting you and your feelings as well, but how would that show that I’ve been affected by God’s words? How would that show that I have faith in God’s promises? In the end, your wrongdoings will only be between God and yourself, just as my wrongdoings will only be between God and myself. But in the meantime, while I still have the choice to avenge you, I’ll forgive you and pray for you, because otherwise, I wouldn’t have any more of God’s ethics than you do. Fighting your fire with my fire will only make a bigger fire; God will take care of what I believe you’ve done wrong. To have you see that I’m still okay is revenge enough.

deartraacy:

I can’t believe 2011 is coming to the end. Well, what can i say. Every year has it’s pros and cons. But this year really wasn’tas bad as it sounds or seems. If i were to rate this year from 1-10, id say, 7. I got close to a lot of people this year and truthfully, I’m thankful for having whoever I gotten close with this year. You guys made this year completely different and a whole lot better than I expected it to be. Family wise, things have been more broken down. Maybe its simply because Ive grown up a lot, my mind is more settled and I tend to have my own thoughts and opinion. In this year, I’ve learned a lot of lessons and I’ve finally thought over somethings.

1. Nothing is a must.
2. Forget the past, and live for today cause tomorrow is not promised.
3. Cherish and appreciate what you have right now.
4. Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened.
5. Don’t remain on the past.
6. The lesser you care, the happier you’ll be.
7. To see rainbow, you have to go through rain.
8. Life goes on, whether you like it or not. Live with a smile, cause days still continue, it wont stop because of you. So cry or smile, 1 word, your choice.

I have an instinct that 2012 will be an amazing year, Ive never had a feeling like this that’s so strong and affirmative. I’ll wait and see if my instinct is true.

My feelings exactly.

I’m making it about me. You know why? Because in the end, I’m the only person guaranteed to be there for myself. I’m going to do what makes me happy this year. I’ll do crazy things. I’ll get my heart broken. I’ll waste my money on nonsense. I’ll do whatever will make me smile, and I’m not going to regret any of it. No matter what people have to say, and no matter what consequences I might have to face, I’m going take the risk of following my heart this year. I’m tired of people saying I can’t, but I’m not going to let that stop me anymore. For once in my life, I’m going to do stuff for myself and my own happiness because I can. I’m tired going out of my way for people who will never remember what I’ve done for them, I’m tired of being pushed around by people who don’t really care about me, and I’m tired of taking bull from people who are just going to leave. No matter how 2012 ends, I want to be able to say that I followed my heart and did what I felt would make me happy. Just by thinking of myself first, I can already sense an amazing year ahead of me.